


The Courage of Stars

by warriorsaralance



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Life As We Know It AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warriorsaralance/pseuds/warriorsaralance
Summary: When Laurel and Tommy are killed in a car crash, it's up to Leonard and Sara to raise the three children they left behind. If they can prove to Child Services that the two of them can make it work, they'll get to stay. They won't be separated in a merciless foster system that Leonard knows all too well.But the more time they spend together, living together, the more tension seems to grow between them.If they risk a relationship, it might end up being absolutely wonderful. Or they could lose everything they've worked so hard to build.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh okay so i wrote this forever ago but never posted it (or finished it, since this is a multichapter) but i just really wanted to start posting it so here we go
> 
> (my mom is a nanny so theres kids around my house pretty much always so i hope i can get the kids right, but since its been forever since i wrote this, all the kids i used as inspiration have aged so i'm winging it)

_ you taught me _

_ the courage of stars _

_ before you left _

__ \- sleeping at last _ _

 

 

“Hello?!” Sara calls into the big house, and closes the door behind her.

 

“Sara!” A young girl with long, brown hair comes running into the hallway, engulfing her aunt in a big hug.

 

“Hey!” Sara lets out a huff when the girl collides into her, but gladly accepted the warm hug from the seven year old. “How are you?”

 

“Good!” The little girl beams. The party hat on her head is askew, and Sara readjusts it so that it’s back on the top of her head. “Come on!” She grabs her aunt by the wrist and drags her out into the garden, where the rest of the company is.

 

They enter the garden together. A few guests look up, but most of them are too distracted by the conversations they’re having with others. Tommy is by the barbecue, grilling hamburgers and talking to Oliver and John. There’s a table in the garden, and by it are Laurel, Thea and Amaya.

 

“Mommy! Look who’s here!” 

 

Laurel’s face brightens at the sight of her younger sister. “Sara!” She exclaims, before wrapping her into a tight hug. When she lets go, her eyebrows furrow together in confusion. “Wait, who let you in?”

 

Sara points to the giddy seven year old. “Your kid did.”

 

“Rebecca!” Laurel scowls, “what did I say about not opening the door to strangers?”

 

“But she’s not a stranger, mommy!” Rebecca replies, then turns around to the rest of the party guests to tell them that her aunt had arrived.

 

Laurel grunts and buries her face in Sara’s shoulder. “Remind me again why I thought having three children was a good idea.” She mumbles to her sister’s shoulder.

 

Sara laughs. “I have no idea.”

 

“Hey Sara!” Thea gets up from the table and hugs her friend. “Good to see you!” 

 

“Good to see you too!” She hugs her friend before letting go and moving to Amaya, who is already waiting on her, arms spread. “It feels like forever since we last saw each other!” Amaya exclaims after she’s let Sara go.

 

“It really does!” Sara agreed. She hadn’t seen most of them since Maura was born eight months ago, despite being close friends and regularly calling them. She’d just gotten so busy with trying to start a new business with Kendra and Kara, which turned out to be a  _ lot _ more work than they’d anticipated, that she’d barely had time to take the trip to visit her friends. Any nights that she did have off were mostly spent watching netflix, reading, or babysitting her cousins when Laurel and Tommy’s babysitter, Sin, was unavailable.

 

Sara waves shortly at the men by the barbeque, and Tommy smiles at her before waving back. The others wave too, before returning to their conversation, probably about football.

 

“How’s the business?” Amaya asks once Sara’s sat down by the table, before she’s even managed to take a sip of the drink that Laurel had given her.

 

“It’s good.” She replies. She takes a sip of the cold drink before going into details. “We’re finally getting closer to the amount of investors we need before we can start.” 

 

“That’s great news. So you’re finally able to tell us what you are going to call your bakery!” Laurel teases.

 

“Nope.” Sara grins before taking another sip of her drink. The truth was that they still hadn’t settled on an official name, but she wasn’t about to tell her sister that.

 

“Oh come on! Just tell us!” 

 

Sara was about to reply, when she heard a soft cry coming from one of the upstairs bedrooms.

 

“That’d be Maura.” Laurel informs them, already getting up to get the youngest after having taken a nap. 

 

Sara stops her sister by covering her hand with hers across the table. “That’s okay, I got it.” 

 

Her sister smiles at her gratefully. “Thanks.”

 

Sara smiles back, then walks back into the house, making her way to Maura’s bedroom. The house isn’t too big, despite having four bedrooms, something that surprised Sara when the couple had first bought the place. She expected them to move to a much bigger place, especially considering Tommy’s father being a multimillionaire, but they’d settled for a regular family home instead. Although, knocking up a girl in college was apparently enough for Tommy’s father to cut all ties with his son - including financial ones, so Sara supposes that there hadn’t been much choice, either.

 

Having been at the house so often, Sara finds the room easily and is greeted by a wailing 8 month old, clutching the bars of her crib, her cheeks red and stained with tears.

 

“Aww.” Sara reached in and picked the girl up, feeling her instantly relax. She lets out a soft sniffle and buries her face in her aunt’s shoulder. Sara rubs gentle circles on her back. “Sshh. It’s okay girl. Were you upset that mommy wasn’t coming, huh?”

 

Once Maura has calmed a little, Sara wipes her cheeks and plants a kiss on one of them. “Let’s go downstairs to see mommy.”

 

Sara walks downstairs with Maura in her arms and is about to go outside when the doorbell rings. Peeking through the window next to the door, she recognises the person and let out a sigh. She shortly debated leaving him on the doorstep and returning to the garden under the rouse of having her hands full with Maura, but everyone knows that she’s like the easiest baby in the world to take care of, so Sara doesn’t really have an excuse. Sighing, she opens the door. “Hey, Leonard.” 

 

“Hi Sara.” He replies coolly. He’s carrying a big box which is most likely his gift for Simon. Leonard’s eyes soon settle on Maura and he smiles at her.  _ Wow,  _ Sara thinks to herself,  _ I didn’t think he was even  _ capable  _ of smiling. _

 

“Hey there.” He coos, softly tickling the little girl's stomach, causing her to giggle.

 

“Party’s in the backyard.” Sara gestures with her head towards the garden with a hand on the door, indicating that she wants him to move so she can close the door. He nods, then walks - or more  _ stalks  _ \- away, to the party. Sara locks the front door and silently curses herself. She should’ve known the prick would be there, being the children’s godfather and Tommy’s best friend and all.

 

She doesn’t exactly  _ hate _ Leonard Snart, it’s more of a mutual disgust of each other. Laurel had set them up on a date when they were still in college, and needless to say, it did  _ not _ go well. Leonard had been a complete ass - although to be fair, she hadn’t been nice to him either - and they had agreed that they would never try that again.

 

A month or two later, when Rebecca was born, it became clear why Laurel had been so eager to set them up on their disastrous date. Sara and Leonard had both been chosen as Becky’s godparents, and Laurel thought that it’d be nice for her daughter to have godparents who were actually  _ together. _

 

The date might’ve been over 7 years ago now, but since Leonard never seemed to have moved past it, neither will she. They’ll act friendly around the rest of their friends, but other than that, they avoid each other as much as they can.

 

Sara follows Leonard into the garden, Maura still on her hip. 

 

“Lenny!” Simon storms towards the man and nearly tackles him in the embrace. “Woah, Simon. Take it easy on Leonard!” Tommy laughs, before leaving the barbeque in Oliver’s hands and greeting his friend. He claps Leonard on the back and both men laugh. “Glad you could make it.”

 

“Len!” Rebecca exclaims and runs to him, clinging to his left leg while her brother is clinging to his right.

 

“How come I never get such enthusiastic greetings?” Sara mumbles to her sister.

 

Laurel laughs. “Well,  _ you _ never bring such big gifts.” She winks at her sister, before turning back to the scenario in front of them. “Alright kids, time to let him go. Len, do you want something to drink?”

 

“A glass of water would be great.” Len replies when Rebecca and Simon have finally disentangled themselves from his legs. Simon is jumping up and down in front of him and Len crouches down to hand him the box. “There you go buddy.”

 

Simon races off with the box, nearly falling down with it because of it’s size, and returns to where he left his cake so he has a good seat to open the present.

 

“Thanks for getting her.” Laurel says as she picks up Maura from Sara’s arms, who had just started fussing.

 

“No problem.” Sara smiles at her older sister and pokes her youngest cousin in her belly. 

 

They sit back down around the table, where Thea and Amaya seem to be discussing Oliver’s girlfriend, Felicity. At least, until Oliver turns around and interrupts them with; “You know I can hear you, right?”

 

Sara grabs a piece of the cake which she had baked them per Laurel’s request for the occasion. She brought it to the house yesterday, along with Simon’s birthday gift. The cake had “Happy birthday Simon” written on top of it in blue icing, but now only the letters ‘appy’, ‘hday’ and ‘on’ were left.

 

The rest of the day is mostly spent reminiscing stories from their time in college, eating loads of food and laughing together. When she decides that it’s finally time to go, Maura and Simon are already asleep, both completely knocked out after the busy day. Rebecca is still awake, but barely, and when Sara waves her goodbye, she waves back while stifling a yawn. She kisses her sister goodbye, thanks Tommy for the nicely grilled hamburgers and promises Thea and Amaya that they will definitely catch up soon.

 

When she goes to bed that night, still feeling warm and happy from the wonderful day she’s had, she crawls under the blankets and sighs.

 

_ I hope this never changes _ , she thinks to herself.

 

But the world is a brutal place, filled with drunk drivers, slick roads and cars with bad brakes.

 

And she has no idea how quickly everything could change.


	2. Stay Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my birthday today, and what better way to celebrate than to upload a new chapter that's gonna break everyone's heart? :D

_ what is stronger _

_ than the human heart _

_ which shatters over and over _

_ and still lives _

__ \- rupi kaur _ _

 

 

ONE WEEK LATER.

 

Sara checks her reflection in the mirror one more time before heading out. She sees very clearly now that the right dress was the right choice for her date, hugging her curves perfectly, and she makes a mental note to thank Laurel for the advice once she gets back.    
  
She adjusts a strand of hair which had fallen out of the bun and tucks it behind her ear. Then she does a final spin in front of the mirror, checks the time, and realises that it's time to go.   
  
Sara takes a deep breath. She hadn't been really nervous today - well, except for the dress picking - but now the nerves really began to set in. This was the first date she'd been on in quite a while. She hadn't exactly had the time to meet new people or go on dates, because she had been so busy getting together enough sponsors for her bakery, but now that things were finally looking up for her, she decided she could use a nice night out.   
  
The girl who asked her out, Lindsay, was unbearably cute and Sara had had a crush on her for a while, so going on a date with her wasn't exactly a problem for her either.    
  
She's about to head out the door when her phone rings. She hesitates for a moment, doubting whether she should pick up or just let it go to voicemail and call back later, but there's a chance that it's a sponsor calling, and she doesn't want to risk it.   
  
"Hi, it's Sara." she answers.   
  
"Hello, is this Miss Sara Lance?" The voice on the other side of the line is formal, but there is an undertone in it that she can't quite recognise. Is it concern?   
  
"Yes, this is she."   
  
"Are you the sister of Dinah Laurel Lance?" The voice asked, the undertone becoming more prominent now. Yes, definitely concern.   
  
An uneasy feeling settles in Sara's stomach. "Yes, I am." She bites her nails, nervously waiting for what is to come.    
  
One of the kids broke their leg and Laurel needs her at the hospital.   
  
Her and Tommy got into a fight and she needs her sister.   
  
Dad was caught drinking on the job again and she can't be with him so she needs to go to his house instead.   
  
"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, Miss Lance, but your sister was involved in a car crash tonight."   
  
None of the scenarios in her head could have prepared her for this.   
  
"What.. How..?" She stammers, unable to get out a single word, just barely breathing.    
  
She closes her eyes, waiting for the next few words to hit her.   
  
"She's currently unconscious, which is a good thing, but she's very unstable."   
  
She breathes out a sigh of relief.   
  
She's alive.   
  
She's alive.   
  
She's-   
  
"Unfortunately," the person on the other side of the line interrupts her thoughts, "her husband, Tommy Merlyn, was already gone when we arrived at the scene. There was nothing we could do for him."   
  
Just like that, Sara's hopes for a good ending to this nightmare is shattered.   
  
Tommy is dead.   
  
Her brother in law, her sister's husband, the father of three children.   
  
He's gone.   
  
Sara takes a minute to take in the news. She's aware that the person on the end of the line, which she now knows is either a police officer or a hospital nurse, is talking to her, but she's unable to register any other word that the woman is speaking. Her thoughts race from the kids, to the first time she met Tommy, to the huge smile on his face when he asked her and her father for permission to marry Laurel, until it finally settles on her sister, who will at some point wake up and hear that her husband is gone. She'll need her sister.   
  
Confident in her decision, she interrupts the woman on the phone. "Which hospital? Star City General?"   
  
"Yes." The woman replies.   
  
"I'll be there." she says, and hangs up the phone. She quickly changes her shoes from high heels to sneakers, but leaves the rest of the outfit on, knowing she doesn't have the time to change. She grabs her purse and closes the door behind her.

  
* * *

  
Once she arrives at the hospital, her cheeks already feel sore from the cheeks that kept streaming down her face, no matter how hard she tried to wipe them away.   
  
She asks the room for her sister and is quickly given a room number and walks her way towards it, scared of what she'll find there.   
  


What she doesn’t expect to find, however, is Leonard Snart.

 

He’s sitting in a chair in the hallway, his eyes red from either exhaustion or from crying. When his eyes land on her, he jumps up from his seat.

 

“I’m Tommy’s emergency contact.” He says, as if he even needs to explain to her why he’s here. He meant a lot to Tommy, to both of them, especially when they first discovered that Laurel was pregnant while they were in their third year of college. 

 

Laurel had broken up with Oliver a couple months before, and her and Tommy weren’t even in an official relationship, but they decided they were going to do this together. Oliver was furious - and although he came around to it later - he wasn’t around to support his friends at the time. But Leonard was. Leonard, who had mostly raised his little sister, and therefore had more experience with kids than any of the others. Leonard, who had supported Tommy every step of the way, just like Sara had supported Laurel.

 

Leonard, who was here now, after having just heard that his best friend had died, while her sister was down the hall, fighting for her life.

 

In any other situation, she would have snarked at him and he would have snarked something back, the way they always did. But now, she runs to him and doesn’t even hesitate to wrap her arms around him.

 

The embrace takes him by surprise, but he quickly wraps his own arms around her petite frame, while Sara buries her face into his chest and lets out a sob. 

 

They stand there for a moment, both too lost in their grief to even say a word.

 

“How is she?” Sara finally manages to get the question past her trembling lips.

 

“They won’t let me in since I’m not family.” He whispers in her hair.

 

When she steps away and looks up at him, she can see the hurt in his eyes. They are both people who build walls, emotional walls to keep everyone at bay, but in this moment, both walls are dropped. There is no point in hiding their grief, their pain. Later, she has no doubt that both will return to their familiar banter, but now, they just really need each other.

 

She takes his hand and doesn’t say a single word, just drags him to the intensive care where Laurel is. When a nurse tells them only family is allowed, Sara stubbornly replies: “He’s family.” and storms past her to her sister.

 

* * *

 

To say that Laurel is in bad shape would be an understatement. There are so many tubes and needles attached to her that it nearly makes Sara vomit. Her face looks pale, except for the bright blue bruise on the side of her head and the little blood dripping through the bandage on her forehead.

 

Sara drops Leonard’s hand and rushes over to her sister’s side and grabs her hand, careful not to touch any of the bandages or the infusion in her hand. Leonard stands back a little, not sure if he should comfort his friend or giving her the space to be with her sister. There’s a soft beeping in the background of Laurel’s heart monitor and he can hear Sara’s soft whispers to the unconscious woman. He decides to let her be, knowing that if it had been Tommy laying here, he’d probably have wanted some space as well.

 

A nurse comes in after a couple of minutes and explains the direness of the situation to them. Laurel has broken several ribs and her right leg and is currently being held in an artificial coma so the doctors have some time to figure out if there’s any brain damage, and if there is, figure out how bad it is. Sara nods along to the conversation, but Leonard can tell that she’s not really following, her eyes frequently drifting back to her sister, before snapping back to the nurse. 

 

Once the nurse leaves, he takes a chair by the door, giving him the view of the two sisters. Sara and Leonard take in the silence in the room, giving them both some time to process the whirlwind of an evening. 

 

“Leonard?” Sara looks up from her seat a few moments later, her eyes are red and puffy from crying. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

She bites her lip. “What about the kids?” She whispers, her eyes immediately filling with tears once she’s finished the question.

 

He sucks in a breath and tries his best to ignore the jab in his heart at the thought of Rebecca, Simon and Maura now having to grow up without a father. Maura wouldn’t even remember him. Neither would Simon, most likely. The sole idea of his best friend’s kids not remembering their father is enough to make his eyes water and his hands shake. “I don’t know.”

 

“I mean,” she takes a breath in attempt to even their voice, “They’re probably still with their babysitter. We can’t just… The babysitter is still a kid. She shouldn’t be up until late.”

 

Leonard closes his eyes, remembering Sin, the young girl with the leather jacket who’d stopped by at the birthday party last week. “I’ll go.”

 

“Leonard, you don’t have to…”

 

He’s about to respond, but their conversation is interrupted by loud beeping from the machines attached to Laurel’s body. Sara steps back in shock as Laurel’s back curls backward, her entire body tense. Nurses immediately rush in and in a few seconds a doctor is there too, and Laurel’s heart rate flatlines.

 

“No!” Sara screams, “Laurel!”

 

She tries to reach for Laurel’s hand, for some way, any way to hold her sister, as some confirmation that this isn’t happening, that she isn’t going to lose her sister too, but she’s pulled back. Before she even realises what is happening, before her mind catches up to the situation and she can fight back, Leonard’s strong arms wrap around her and carry her away from the room, where the doctors just started CPR.

 

She tries to fight him off. She screams and hits, but his body is a rock and she’s too tired to fight, so eventually she gives in, letting his arms wrap around her as she soaks his shirt with her tears.

 

A nurse leaves the room and meets Leonard’s eyes. He looks at her, hopefully, for some good news  _ please _ , but she shakes her head.

 

Laurel’s gone.

 

“I’m so sorry, Sara.” He kisses the top of her hair and finally lets the tears fall. Through his watered vision he can see Quentin rushing into the hallway, but he shakes his head at him and the man, overcome by shock and grief, sinks to the floor, and cries.

 

Sara steps away eventually and Leonard squeezes her hand one more time before he tells her: “I’ll go to the kids.” He turns around and leaves her with her father, giving the two time to grieve like a family should.

 

* * *

 

Sara is standing in front of their house, fiddling with the keys, trying to find the right one. Her shaking hands make the task harder than usual and the fact that it’s still dark out doesn’t help either. Once she finally finds the key, she still struggles to get it into the lock, her hands still shaking way too much. She takes a deep breath in attempt to relax her body, but to no avail.

 

A light clicks on in the hallway and she frowns. She didn’t wake up one of the kids with her fumbling, did she?

 

The door opens and reveals -  _ oh _ \- Leonard.

 

She gapes at him for a second, then shakes her head. “You’re still here.”

 

“Of course.” He replies. He looks more tired than she’s ever seen him, his eyes hollow and puffy, his face pale, and she has no doubt she looks about the same. It’s nearly 4 am and neither have slept since being in the hospital earlier this evening. Not like either of them could, either. “I wasn’t about to leave them alone.”

 

“Right.” She says, biting her lip. She looks down at the ground in attempt to swallow her tears, but her grief is simply too much to hide. She looks back up at him and sees that his eyes are filled with tears as well. 

 

At the sight of that, any reason for her to be strong and hide her tears falls away, and she begins to sob. 

 

“Come on.” He wraps his arms around her much like he did in the hospital and pulls her inside, closing the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments = love


	3. Difficulties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to write a quick thank you note to everyone who has been reviewing because every review motivates me to write even more & more. you guys are the reason i continue writing & posting <3
> 
> you're all amazing & i hope you enjoy this new chapter :D

_ Nec aspera terrent. _

_ (They do not fear the difficulties.) _

 

She wakes up the next morning to the smell of coffee and the sounds of someone walking around in the house. Her eyes fly open, but instead of seeing her all so familiar bedroom, she sees her sister's living room. The events of the night before flood her memory and she falls back on the couch, groaning.

 

The shuffling around in the kitchen stops, and a few seconds later, Leonard appears in the living room doorway. 

 

"Look who's up." He smirks.

 

She grunts and throws her blanket off her.  _ That's funny, _ she thinks,  _ I don't remember having a blanket last night. _

 

She stands up and stretches, groaning again when she feels her sore muscles. She glances down at her outfit, and is embarrassed to see she's still wearing her red dress for her date last night, but never actually went to, because of the painful call she got just minutes before she had to leave. She closes her eyes and rubs her forehead, making a mental note to call Lindsay somewhere later today to explain why she never showed up. 

 

"I um," Sara looks back up at Leonard as he begins to speak. "I took off your shoes and unzipped your dress when you fell asleep, thought that'd be more comfortable. Hope you don't mind." Leonard says, then reverts his eyes to the floor and scratches the back of his head.

 

She waves him off in attempt to make this moment less awkward. "It's fine."

 

He looks back up at her, and she just looks back, unsure of what to say. Her, standing in her unzipped dress, her hair messy and her make-up no doubt ruined from the combination of tears and sleep, and he, standing in a long sleeved shirt and jogging pants with a pack of milk in his hand.

 

If it would have been any other situation, she would have laughed at it. She'd have made some snarky comment, and he'd have said something sassy back. But now they're just both looking at each other, with all of their usual walls down, and neither has a clue where to start.

 

It's eventually Leonard that breaks the silence.

 

He points to the bag leaning against the chair. "There's some extra shirts in there that I brought from home before I got here. You can take one if you want."

 

Sara smiles weakly at him. "Thanks." She takes one of his shirts out of the backpack and heads to the bathroom. Once she returns, the scent of freshly baked pancakes is just beginning to fill the kitchen. She follows the scent to the kitchen, where Leonard is just finished with baking the first pancakes and hands her a dish with one of them on it. He places another plate on the opposite side of the table and places the pancakes and the syrup in between them.

 

"I'm saving the rest of the batter for when the kids wake up." He explains shortly, before he takes a pancake and starts eating. Sara just nods in reply.

 

"Have you told them yet?" She asks him eventually, after she's eaten her first pancake, which she has to admit, tastes delicious.

 

He shakes his head. "No, they're still asleep. Figured you'd want to be awake for it anyways."

 

She nods. "Thanks."

 

They continue their breakfast in silence. Sara appreciates it, because it gives her a moment to finally process the events of last night and wonder how they're going to move forward. 

 

So much is going to change now. She doesn't know exactly what will happen with the kids; she knows she and Leonard are their godparents, but usually godparents are in a relationship, and she isn't sure what it would mean that they're not. Even then, they’d have to prove to Child Services that they are capable of raising three children.

 

The house is another point. She doesn't have a clue what the mortgage for her sister's home is, but she knows that it's way above her paycheck. Then there's also the funeral.

 

She sighs, dropping her fork onto her plate and shoving it away from her, having lost all of her appetite.

 

Leonard raises an eyebrow. "Was my cooking that bad?"

 

She rolls her eyes at him. "Terrible."

 

He smirks at her and opens his mouth to reply, but their banter is interrupted by a tiny voice at the top of the stairs.

 

"Mommy?" They hear Rebecca call.

 

Leonard sits up and looks at her, eyes wide. Sara takes a deep breath, then makes her way to the stairs.

 

And so it begins.

  
  


* * *

 

Telling an eight year old that her parents had been killed in a car accident was a challenge, but when her screaming woke her three year old brother, and they had to tell him what happened, they were faced with a whole new challenge on it's own.

 

Rebecca understood what had happened and screamed her lungs out before collapsing in Sara's arms, continuing to sob quietly.

 

Simon, on the other hand, was probably a bit too young to understand the concept of death and dying, and had no idea what was going on. His big sister was screaming, his mommy and daddy weren't there, and in front of him were two adults who he knew but was still shy of, as any three year old would be - reason enough to panic.

 

Sara and Leonard did their best to calm him down, but with Sara still holding Rebecca and neither of them being very equipped with dealing with emotions, they were completely at a loss.

 

After what feels like forever, a wailing down the hall joins Simon's screams and Sara mouths to Leonard to go get Laura. He's hesitant to leave her with two crying children, but then he sees the firm look in her eyes and he knows she has it handled. Or as handled as she can, at least.

 

Once Leonard is down the hall, Sara gets up from where she'd been crouched on the floor with her niece in her arms and the moment she lets her go, the girl starts crying again.

 

"No! Don't leave me! NO!" She pulls on Sara's arm.

 

"Shh." Sara grabs her hand and lifts her up. "I'm not going anywhere." She promises as she presses a kiss to her head, hoping that she doesn't hear the waver of her voice as she says it. She's doing her best to be strong, but watching her sister's children like this, grieving and in pain over their mother's death, is not something she ever thought she had to see.

 

She briefly considers carrying Simon downstairs with them, but the eight year old is already quite heavy, and she doesn't want to risk falling down. So she darts downstairs as quickly as she can and places Rebecca on the couch, pressing another kiss on top of her head, before running back upstairs to fetch him.

 

She picks him up and whispers words of comfort in his ear as she makes her way down the stairs once more, but she doubts that he can hear them over his own screaming. Once she returns to the living room, Rebecca seems to have calmed a little, her breath hitching when she sees her little brother. Sara sits down next to her on the couch, with Simon in her lap. Rebecca immediately curls up against her and reaches out to grab Simon's hand.

 

Leonard enters the living room with Laura in his arms. The grave expression on his face shows what Sara's been thinking. There's no explaining an eight month old what happened. She's only just learning to crawl, let alone talk or understand what others are saying.

 

He sits down next to her on the couch and looks down at Simon, who is still crying into her shirt. She looks up at him and she doesn't know exactly what he sees - whether it's fear, or panic, or worry - he holds up Laura for her. 

 

"Mind if we trade?"

 

"Sure." She replies, not trusting her voice with saying anything more. She reaches over and grabs the toddler, while Leonard reaches for Simon, and pulls him into his lap. Rebecca doesn't let go of her brothers hand, instead stretching herself over Sara and Laura, forcing Sara and Leonard to move even closer.

 

Leonard begins to rub gently circles on Simon's back and shortly after he's stopped crying, returning to a soft hiccuping instead. Sara closes her eyes and breathes out a sigh in relief, and lets her head drop on Leonard's shoulder. She can feel him tense for a moment, but then relaxes at the gesture and puts the arm that isn't rubbing circles on Simon's back around her shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Slowly but surely, the five of them begin to pick up their day the best they can. Leonard goes to the kitchen to make them breakfast and Simon trails after him, not leaving him out of sight after this morning.

 

Laura, mostly unaware of the things going on around her, returns to her toys in the corner and plays with them, until she gets hungry and begins to protest.

 

Sara turns on the tv for Rebecca, trusting her to find the kids channel, before picking Laura up and taking her towards the kitchen. She's about to ask Leonard if he found any baby food, but he presents her with a bowl of mushed together foods and a bib.

 

He also found the kiddy chair and takes Laura from her and places her in the chair, and pulls the bib over her head.

 

Sara smiles at him in thanks. She doesn't know how he sensed that she needs a break from the commotion, but he does, and he juggles feeding Laura and baking pancakes as if he's done it a million times before.

 

She uses the quiet moment to check her phone and sees she has four missed calls from her father, probably wondering where she is. She doesn't bother listening to the voicemails he's left, and instead walks into the hallway, out of earshot of the others and calls him back. 

 

He picks up after only two rings. "Hey baby." He says softly.

 

"Hey daddy." She replies, covering her mouth to prevent any cry from escaping.

 

"Where are you? I stopped by your apartment, but you weren't there." 

 

"I'm at Laurel's." 

 

The other end of the line goes quiet. "Oh. Of course. How are the kids? Did you tell them? Do you need me to come over?"

 

She thinks back to this morning and takes a shaking breath. "Rebecca has a difficult time, mostly. Simon doesn't really understand. And Laura... She's just beginning to learn how to crawl." She finishes the last question just before letting a sob escape. She can hear her father on the other end crying as well.

 

"Do you need me to come over? I can help." He asks her again after taking a couple breaths to calm himself down.

 

"No, um," She turns around and glances through the kitchen hallway, "Leonard is here."

 

"Leonard? Leonard Snart?"

 

She can hear the surprise in her father's tone. "Yeah," She leans against the doorway, giving her a better sight of what's happening in the kitchen, "He's..." She searches her vocabulary for a word to describe the scenario in front of her, but nothing seems to come even close. "He's great." She concludes.

 

"Oh?" He's putting less and less of an effort to hide the tone of surprise in his voice, and she has to do her best to not roll her eyes at him, because if she wasn't seeing what she saw in front of her right now, she probably would be just as surprised.

 

"He is, daddy. He's making them pancakes and feeding Laura and Simon doesn't go three feet from him, and Leonard hasn't complained once." 

 

She smiles when he sets Simon on the counter to keep him out of the way, and Simon sneakily - or as sneakily as a three year old can be - steals one of the pancakes and shoves it into his mouth. Leonard sees it and feigns annoyance at him, and the three year old giggles.

 

Sara doesn't know if her father can hear them, or maybe her words alone are enough, but he stops asking about the subject. "Okay, well if there's anything else I can do for you?"

 

"Actually," She looks down at clothing - she's still wearing Leonard's shirt - and looks up at the scene in front of her, and back in the living room, where Rebecca is still watching tv, and she knows she can't leave. "It'd be great if you could bring me a change of clothes? I came here in a dress last night and didn't bring anything else." 

 

"Of course."

 

"Kendra lives in the same building, apartment 3B. She has a key. I'll text her to let her know you're coming. She's usually home at lunch time." She tells him, unconsciously fiddling with the hem of Leonard's shirt.

 

She can hear the rustle of paper in the background, and the click of a pen before her father scribbles down the information. When he's done, he says "Okay baby. I'll see you soon." 

 

"Thank you daddy. See you soon."

 

She hangs up the phone and joins the rest of them in the kitchen - Rebecca has now also joined her brother's pancake stealing shenanigans - and she takes over feeding Laura. Leonard gives her a grateful look, before returning his attention to the pancake thieves and setting them down at the table for their breakfast.

 

Sara looks at the five of them, eating breakfast together. Although it's totally not how she expected this day to turn out - or the day before, for that matter - but as she looks at them, Laura happily munching down a piece of fruit, Rebecca and Simon caught up in a pancake eating competition, and Leonard and her, looking on with smiles on their faces, she can't stop the feeling in her gut that she gets, that tells her that maybe, just maybe, they'll be alright.


	4. the gentle heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH my friends I am SO sorry for dissapearing off of the face of the earth for the past weeks (months?) life has been crazy and i couldn't find any time to write or even THINK about what i wanted to write. so i've been a bit stuck. thankfully i had the day off today and finally got some worries off my mind so i finally felt like writing again yaaay! this chapter is a bit short but there's some cute gentle scenes and the next chapter will be more epic, and hopefully coming to you soon <3
> 
> stay awesome my friends.

It's a little past noon when the doorbell rings. Sara, who is in the kitchen calling close friends of Laurel and Tommy to spread the news, quickly checks on a sleeping Rebecca in the living room before opening the door.

 

"Hi dad." She tries to smile at her father, but instead her lip quivers. 

 

"Oh baby." He holds out his arms to her, and she gladly accepts the invitation for the hug, burying her face in his shoulder, finally letting the tears stream down her face. "Baby girl," he whispers in her hair, "Just breathe." He rubs his hands soothingly up and down her back like he used to do when she was little. Back then, anything could be solved by her father's hugs. He'd wrap his arms around her and all of the hurt in the world would disappear.

 

But even her father's arms can't protect her from the hurt of losing her sister.

 

Sara pulls away from him before the emotions get too much. “You okay? You look tired.”

 

“Yeah, didn’t sleep much. I’ll be okay.” Quentin tells her, before pressing a kiss on her forehead. “I believe you asked for a bag of clothes?”

 

“Yes, thank you! Come on in.” She takes the bag from him and leads him through the hallway towards the kitchen.

 

Quentin glances into the living room before stepping into the kitchen, noticing the lack of kids fluttering around. “Where are all the kids?”

 

“Leonard took Simon to go grocery shopping, and Laura and Rebecca are both asleep.” Sara explains, then points to the living room, where she can just see Rebecca’s arm sticking out where she’s spread out on the couch. Quentin sees it and smiles softly.

 

“I can wake her up, if you want?” Sara looks at her father, his eyes filled with the affection he has for his grandchildren. 

 

“No, it’s fine. They need their rest.” There are tears in his eyes, but her father is quick to blink them away. “There’s something else I wanted to talk about, actually.”

 

Sara nods and gestures her father to take a seat. “What’s up?”

 

He takes a deep breath before throwing it on the table. “Child services called.”

 

She sits up a little straighter and sighs. “Right.”

 

“They want to get in contact with you and Leonard, the godparents, and drop by to see how the kids are doing under your care, talk through your options, that sort of thing.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“It’s just a regular check-up. Raising three children is a handfull, and they just want to see if you’re up for it.” Her father explains.

 

She nods. “I’ll um… have to talk to Snart. We haven’t really, talked about any of this yet.”

 

“I’ll leave you to it then.” Her father gets up and gently pats her leg. She follows him to the hallway until he turns back around.

 

“By the way, do you remember, um,” He takes a deep breath to steady his voice, “Do you remember those flowers Laurel had in her bridal bouquet? The white ones? I can’t remember what they’re called, and the florist-” His emotions finally get the best of him, a tear rolling down his cheek as he sucks in a breath.

 

“Lily of the valley.” Sara closes her eyes, letting herself return to her sister’s wedding day for a moment, remembering the excitement and pure happiness that she felt for her sister that day. She reopens her eyes and smiles at the memory. “I remember how the florist tried to recommend her different, more traditional flower bouquets, but she insisted on a bouquet of lily of the valley’s because she loved their meaning so much.” Sara’s eyes fill with tears as she remembers the meaning of the small flower.

 

“It meant ‘You’ve made my life complete’.”

 

“She made our lives complete.” Quentin covers his mouth to stop another sob from escaping. 

 

“Daddy,” Sara steps forward and takes his hand, “If you need  _ anything- _ ”

 

He shakes his head. “No baby, you have your hands full here, taking care of their children. Let me do this, okay?”

 

Reluctantly, she agrees. “Okay.”

 

Quentin hugs her and Sara is quick to return the gesture, burying her face in his chest. “I gotta go back to work, but you let me know if you need anything, okay? And call me once you know more about your options with child services, maybe I can help with that.”

 

“Okay daddy.” 

 

He kisses the top of her head, then lets her go. “I’ll let myself out.”

 

Sara waves her father goodbye, then returns to the list of phone numbers in front of her. She still has a lot of calls to make.

 

****

 

When Leonard returns from the supermarket with a sleeping Simon in his arms, he finds Sara on the living room couch with her arms wrapped around Rebecca, both of them sleeping soundly. On the coffee table in front of them lays an abandoned notebook with phone numbers, some crossed out, and a baby monitor. Leonard puts the sleeping toddler in the armchair next to the couch and leaves the groceries in the kitchen. He hopes this round of groceries will last them at least a week, but he’s never had to buy groceries for anyone but himself, and frankly, he has no idea how much three children eat.

 

He moves back to the living room and takes up the notebook with phone numbers. He recognises a few of the names as friends of Tommy’s, and realises these phone numbers are numbers of close friends and family that need to be informed of their deaths. Flicking through the notebook, he can see that Sara has already called more than half of them, but there are still a few who need to be called. 

 

Sara stirs in her sleep and Leonard looks up from the notebook. He can’t suppress the soft smile on his lips. She looks so peaceful in her sleep, an expression he’d never thought he’d see on the fierce woman he knows.

 

It suits her rather well.

 

He sighs, gathers up the notebook and pen, and moves to the kitchen to make the last of the calls.

**Author's Note:**

> comments = love <3


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